Airing My Laundry Via the Dryer in My Basement

When choosing between the laundry line visible to neighbors and the dryer in your basement, I would implore you to choose your basement.  

Facebook is the antithesis of a conflict management platform.  Sarcasm, passive-aggressive commentary, and back-handed compliments grace many walls, and when they come up on my news feed, I get sad.  Sometimes I get angry, true, but mostly, I’m just sad.  Mostly, I wonder how many people feel like they are the intended recipient of the vitriolic statements when in fact they are just bystanders with a heightened guilt complex?  I know I have felt the sting of shotgun ball bearings that were not intended for me, and lost sleep in consideration of the wound.

Okay, okay.  Looking back through Facebook and (oh em gee) MySpace and that dinosaur of public opinioning, LiveJournal, I’m finding that I’m firing off shotgun blasts of caustic verbage from time to time and not bothering to see where the shot lands and who it hits.  Once, when I was a kid, my dad had shotgun shot hit him from very long distance when some stupid poachers carelessly fired away at doves (and houses, and telephone company employees).  We’re committing the same crime, verbally, when we hang our dirty laundry via social media.

It’s old fashioned, I know, and gosh it can be so awkward, but sometimes a good old face-to-face is called for.  And if that doesn’t work, maybe you should bring in a counselor.  And if that doesn’t work, maybe you should sever ties.  Jesus thought so highly of this process that he established a version of it 2,000 years ago for dealing with issues in His church.  Instead of Facebook, in those days, they would put graffiti on the walls of town talking about how much so-and-so is a backstabbing selfish poo-poo head.  That was the original “wall.”

Okay.  So you have a passive aggressive jones that you need a fix for?  Learn to play guitar or piano and start writing songs.  Channel your inner Alanis Morissette or Justin Timberlake.  That nameless passive-aggressive stuff sells mad records.  If you’re not gonna take my advice, and you just have to air your dirty laundry in an unhealthy way, you may as well get paid. 

Finally, I understand this is completely hypocritical post because it’s calling people out without telling you what inspired it.  It was inspired by my personal Bible Study which landed me in Matthew 18 today and the laundry basket in the hallway and probably some posts I’ve seen on The Facebook.

I hope this made you laugh, made you think, or at least made you shake your head and call me a jerk under your breath.


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